Strippers,boxers and lollipops oh my
by AngelaK779
Summary: Emmet,Alice,and BElla had a wild night and whats done in the dark will come to light causing for a string of funny things to happen
1. Chapter 1

So everyone but the parents (duh) are hanging out in the Cullen's living room talking about Katty Perry and Madonna songs Like a virgin and I kissed a girl.

Emmet: "So Edward what is it like kissing a virgin?"

Edward: "I don't know Emmet I guess fine, why don't you ask Jasper?"

Emmet: "Why would I ask Jasper he only kissed Alice?"

Edward: "Well Emmet Alice was in an asylum for quite awhile so I doubt Alice had any experience other than Jasper."

Edward: "So Jasper what is it like kissing a virgin?"

Jasper: "Well let's just say that afterwards she became a better kisser!"

_I wonder if it was because Alice licked Jasper lollipop _

Edward: "Probably but hey I surprised Rose lips aren't numb from yours!"

Edward: "Me to, But I bet you wish Bella would do you!"

Rosalie: "What are"

Alice: "Rose you don't want to know!"

Rosalie: "What are you talking about?"

Alice: "Well Edward surprise that your lips aren't numb from sucking Em balls and Em thinks Edward wants Bella to suck his."

Edward: "Thanks Alice for that wonderful announcement."

Alice "You're welcome."

Edward: "Why are guys starring at me?"

Alice: "They want you to answer Em question."

Edward: "What question?"

Emmet: "Do you want Bella to suck your balls?"

Edward: "That's none of your business!"

Rosalie: "Oh over defensive!"

Edward: "No Rose I'm not it just that some of us don't have to flaunt our love life!"

Jasper: "How can you flaunt something you don't have?"

Mean while Alice and Bella are texting even though they're in the same room and it goes a little something like this

Bella- Oh my god Emmet is so dead think I should tell Rose what happen

Alice- No let me handle it

Alice text Emmet saying Karma's a bitch and everyone here Emmet voice going "I kissed a virgin and I liked it I hope Rose don't mind it!"

Rosalie: "Bella if you value your life you will tell me that you aren't the virgin Emmet kissed!"

Bella: "Oh no don't worry Emmet prefer red head virgins and as you can see I'm definitely not a red head."

Rosalie: "Emmet what is she talking about?"

Emmet: "Bella do you want me to tell Edward what really happened last week?"

Bella: "Should I?"

Edward and Rosalie: "What happened last week?!"

Alice: "Nothing major happened we just went to a club or two."

Rosalie: "Was this red head at the club?"

Bella: "The second one know the only people at the second one was Em and I, pervs, and strippers."

Jasper: "Wait didn't Alice go with you guys?"

Bella: "Yeah she did!"

Jasper: Well she's not a perv so… stripper, awesome my wife is a stripper I'm gonna have so much fun with this!"

Alice: "Two can play this game Bella got drunk and danced on top of a bar!"

Bella: "No I did not Emmet spiked my drink, kissed a red head who kept trying to give him a blow job at the bar that Alice put me on top of and Alice put on a show at the strip club we went to!"


	2. Chapter 2

Emmet and Alice: "Thanks a lot snitch!"

Bella: "Oh what ever you were well on your way to snitching I just beat you to the punch!"

Rosalie: "I would like to punch you Emmet."

Bella: "In his defense it wasn't his fault the girl kissed him and she really didn't kiss him but more like his nose, the chick was a very drunk and slutty virgin.

Jasper: "Thank you Bella!"

Alice: "I'm not doing that Jasper so don't even think about it."

Edward: "Sorry Alice but..."

Alice: "Yeah, yeah, yeah we're getting a stripper pole in our room."

Edward: "What the matter with you?'

_I had a vision that Esme and Carlisle have one and..._

Edward: "Every time you're doing that you're going to have flashbacks?"

_Yeah and I don't want to hurt Jasper feelings but I don't want to tell him because it's embarrassing...do you think you could?_

**_*_****_Alice_****_ has a vision of Edward embarrassing Jasper by telling him how his fantasy isn't going to happen*_**

Jasper: "Alice what the matter why do you feel embarrassed and guilty?

Edward: "Because you're copying mom and dad sex life, I mean seriously they have one and now you want one to?"

Jasper: "How do you know they have one you haven't been that bored that you been peeking?"

Edward: "Have you been that bored that you're copying?"

Jasper: "At least I have one!"

Bella: "Wow look at the time come on Edward you promise you would teach me how to play pool!"

**_At the Game Room, still in the Cullen House Bella brought a grape soda with her_**

Edward: "So you bend over and try to get that white ball to hit the other balls"

_As he shows he her he knocks over the grape soda and spills it on Bella_

Bella: "EDWARD!!"

Edward: "Bella sorry it was a mistake, it's not like you can't go and change."

Bella: "Change into what Alice made me bring only enough clothes for today, tonight and tomorrow morning and I'm not wearing blue jeans to bed."

_As they are talking Bella and Edward head to his room to find something for Bella to wear_

Edward: "What are you looking for?"

Bella: "Well I'm going wear the shirt I was going to wear tomorrow tonight and just throw on a pair of your...(she looks for something of his to wear)boxers!"

So everyone but the parents (duh) are hanging out in the Cullen's living room talking about Katty Perry and Madonna songs Like a virgin and I kissed a girl.

Emmet: "So Edward what is it like kissing a virgin?"

Edward: "I don't know Emmet I guess fine, why don't you ask Jasper?"

Emmet: "Why would I ask Jasper he only kissed Alice?"

Edward: "Well Emmet Alice was in an asylum for quite awhile so I doubt Alice had any experience other than Jasper."

Edward: "So Jasper what is it like kissing a virgin?"

Jasper: "Well let's just say that afterwards she became a better kisser!"

_I wonder if it was because Alice licked Jasper lollipop _

Edward: "Probably but hey I surprised Rose lips aren't numb from yours!"

Edward: "Me to, But I bet you wish Bella would do you!"

Rosalie: "What are"

Alice: "Rose you don't want to know!"

Rosalie: "What are you talking about?"

Alice: "Well Edward surprise that your lips aren't numb from sucking Em balls and Em thinks Edward wants Bella to suck his."

Edward: "Thanks Alice for that wonderful announcement."

Alice "You're welcome."

Edward: "Why are guys starring at me?"

Alice: "They want you to answer Em question."

Edward: "What question?"

Emmet: "Do you want Bella to suck your balls?"

Edward: "That's none of your business!"

Rosalie: "Oh over defensive!"

Edward: "No Rose I'm not it just that some of us don't have to flaunt our love life!"

Jasper: "How can you flaunt something you don't have?"

Mean while Alice and Bella are texting even though they're in the same room and it goes a little something like this

Bella- Oh my god Emmet is so dead think I should tell Rose what happen

Alice- No let me handle it

Alice text Emmet saying Karma's a bitch and everyone here Emmet voice going "I kissed a virgin and I liked it I hope Rose don't mind it!"

Rosalie: "Bella if you value your life you will tell me that you aren't the virgin Emmet kissed!"

Bella: "Oh no don't worry Emmet prefer red head virgins and as you can see I'm definitely not a red head."

Rosalie: "Emmet what is she talking about?"

Emmet: "Bella do you want me to tell Edward what really happened last week?"

Bella: "Should I?"

Edward and Rosalie: "What happened last week?!"

Alice: "Nothing major happened we just went to a club or two."

Rosalie: "Was this red head at the club?"

Bella: "The second one know the only people at the second one was Em and I, pervs, and strippers."

Jasper: "Wait didn't Alice go with you guys?"

Bella: "Yeah she did!"

Jasper: Well she's not a perv so… stripper(Bella nodds), awesome my wife is a stripper I'm gonna have so much fun with this!"

Alice: "Two can play this game Bella got drunk and danced on top of a bar!"

Bella: "No I did not Emmet spiked my drink, kissed a red head who kept trying to give him a blow job at the bar that Alice put me on top of and Alice put on a show at the strip club we went to!"


	3. Chapter 4

Edward: "You want to wear my boxers?"  
Bella: "Yeah, why not I don't have anything else to wear and you're always wanting to get me something so why not give your boxers for tonight."  
Edward: "Okay but first you have to marry me."  
Bella: "Sure but you have to answer Emmet question."  
Edward: "I don't know what question you're talking about."  
Bella:"Do you want me to suck you balls, just answer the question it's not like I'll get grossed out or anything."  
Edward:"How about this anything sexually I want you to do I will ask you to do on our honeymoon, okay?"  
Bella: "What make you think I want to marry you?"  
Edward: "Oh maybe my good looks or could it be the surpirse I have for you?"

What will this suprise be stay tuned to find out ta ta


End file.
